Life Is Not Binary
Happy Friday Friends,
I’ve spent a lot of time over the past month on social media. I’ve thrown my usually conscious social media diet out of the window. My feeds are carefully curated and chosen so that I mainly use X, IG and LinkedIn to learn and share my learnings.
But, due to the conflict in Israel, I’ve spent more time doom-scrolling than I normally would. In fact, I’ve scrolled with no real purpose more in the past 2 weeks than the entire year combined.
A few things have become evident. The main one is how much energy social media sucks out of you. But, I don’t want to go down this “how bad is social media” rabbit hole this week. I want to discuss something else I’ve seen. It’s not new but I am noticing it more now - how divided the world is.
About everything.
I am not referring to the war in the Middle East. All wars are polarising and when wars stem from religion and not much else there are even more extreme views.
What I mean is almost any topic you read about online will immediately have 2 opposing sides. And, those sides almost always seem to be miles apart. I am opinionated and I’m blunt. Those who know me know that I don’t fluff thoughts much. I say things how I see them. But, at the same time, I am always open to additional information and opinions. I am happy to change my mind for the right reasons.
In life, there are almost never only two sides.
Life is not binary.
In fact, if we take a few moments to think about things we’ll see we spend more time in the grey areas than we do in the black and white. But, we also seem to want to push people into one camp or another. We want them to choose a side. We don’t know what to do with someone who sits on the fence. You’re not allowed to sit on the fence, for any reason. Whether you’re undecided or because that’s where the view is best for you, it doesn’t matter.
"You have to choose!"
My rational brain can’t seem to come to terms with this. There are times when I don’t care enough about a topic to take sides. I can’t be the only one, it’s exhausting otherwise.
Why are we not hearing from rational people who sit in the grey? Is it because they’re scared to even commit to not committing? Or, maybe the extremes of the spectrum always have the loudest voices. We know that mainstream media help amplify those voices because they bring engagement and clicks.
We also simplify human traits into defined buckets.
You’re either patient or you’re not.
You’re loyal or you’re not.
You’re trustworthy or you’re not.
Human traits are also not that simple. There is and has to be nuanced.
There are no binary traits.
I am an impatient person but patience is scenario and person dependant. If I’m on the phone with a support agent for a service provider, my patience level is 1/10. On the other hand, with anyone in my team learning a new skill my patience level is 8/10. These wouldn’t be possible if I labelled myself as patient or impatient. One or the other. With this mindset, it means I can improve on traits that are important. I can work on my patience in certain scenarios or just in general.
And, that’s important for all of us. We must work on our traits.
A challenge I see for myself and others around me is cognitive biases. Cognitive bias is when we have a preconceived idea in our heads and we instinctively lean in that direction. These biases are built over years of experiences and emotions. We’re often not aware of them because they’re deeply ingrained. The problem is that cognitive biases lead us to think in binary terms.
Cognitive biases shape our reality far more than we often recognise. They can make a world of grey seem deceptively black and white. Take ‘confirmation bias’ for instance. Where we look for information that confirms our existing ideas, neglecting the nuances that challenge our worldview.
We read information, we follow people, and we watch channels that feed into this bias. We don’t want to see other points of view or hear something we may not agree with. Why?
Because it’s hard!
It’s much easier to stay in your current mindset and then believe everything neatly fits within that. You’re being naive and ignorant.
We need to teach ourselves to acknowledge and confront our biases. We need to have a more nuanced understanding of the world around us. If more people did, it would make for a better world.
Books like "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman or "Predictably Irrational" by Dan Ariely offer deep dives into these biases. They show that what seems like binary decisions are often influenced by undercurrents of past experiences and ingrained patterns.
"The human understanding when it has once adopted an opinion draws all things else to support and agree with it."
Francis Bacon
Moral ambiguity is another issue we don’t think enough about.
Morality often defies binary classification. But, for the most part, humans have a deep desire for clear-cut right and wrong. In the real world though, ethical decisions are rarely black or white. Rather, they are made within a context that’s deeply grey and complex.
"The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion" by Jonathan Haidt explores how moral foundations can influence our sense of right and wrong. Haidt suggests that moral judgment is shaped by a variety of factors, both innate and cultural.
I agree with Haidt and it is obvious by spending only a few minutes online that our moral judgements do not stem from rational thinking. Group thinking and intuition play a more direct role in how we think and act in big situations.
It’s unfortunate but reasoning often comes in hindsight. Which then serves to justify our instincts rather than guide them.
"The only good is knowledge, and the only evil is ignorance."
Socrates
I am frustrated with humanity at the moment. When times are uncertain there is even more reason for us to try to understand nuances outside of our own perception.
But, it is the exact opposite right now.
So many people screaming and shouting into their own eco chambers.
So few listening.
Peace & love,
Jazza
A Shot From My Camara Roll